AN AWKWARD COINCIDENCE

'Things doesn't happen twice the same way'....Unless they have a reason.... Some might frame that as coincidence.. but for me it happened twice with the same person, at the same place. Seems strange.?

Rather awkward, as i had the same conversation twice, on the same train with the same stranger. First, i thought of it as deja vu. HELL NO..... Its an awkward coincidence or is it.?

Journey dated - 31/10/2012

It was such a such a beautiful morning. A pleasant day to start. My mom was packing things for the journey, my brother left for school and my dad went for the market to get some snacks. I got up had a bath and looked at the train ticket languishingly. My departure was scheduled at 5:20 PM. I returned home after three months and i stayed for 6 days which was quite pensive. I continued to move on keeping the winter vacation in mind(entire December). Time has passed quickly and i was in the station. The train was delayed by 30 minutes, i had half an hour to spend. But i was in the station which is not likely my home.

I continued to wait for my train.....

Finally at 6:00 p.m, i boarded the train. Even the delay time was not correct, I said to myself and had a shrewd smile on my face remembering the 'Indian train timings'. I occupied my berth, arranged my luggage underneath, showed my ticket and started listening to music. Soon it became dark and the train began to slow down. Hucksters began to board the train. They were in such a hurry. They could have waited till the train stopped. Maybe each and every minute was important to them to make their living. I thought of buying some, but soon realized that i had plenty. I peeped through the window. Finally the train stopped and there was a such a rush. Passengers began to board the train. There was this tired look of waiting on their faces. People started occupying the seats near my place. To my surprise it felt like a deja vu. 

I was travelling on the same train, with the same stranger.

We smiled at each other. Unlike last time he was travelling alone. The train began to move.I didn't think he remembered me as he asked my whereabouts(name, occupation..e.t.c......typical Indian mind). I began to contradict Paulo Coelho, as he said "Everything that happens once can never happen again". He asked me about my studies. I answered. I talked as little as possible, as i didn't want to conversate, with a stranger. It was dinner time and i had my dinner. My journey time was 23 hours. I slept early and got up early. It was 9 a.m and i felt like i travelled more than a day already. The stranger began to talk about coincidences that are strange and likely to be remembered. First i thought of him as an astrologer, though i never cared to ask. Later i assumed him to be some person who might be a huge fan of final destination. He told me of some weird coincidences. Some of them are incidents from my past. I had goosebumps. All of a sudden there was this familiar tone playing in my head. I realized that it was my alarm tone set earlier before night. The picture began to fade away, may be it was because of the music. I intended to stop it. Seems like it was coming from a distance and i had to move to stop it. The music stopped. I opened my eyes and soon came to my senses. 

I realized that it was a dream linked to my past. I couldn't recall whether it was from a dream or memory or a dream from a dream within my memory. Bad things come in three. I had two but thrice is an enemy action.

Hoping for the best....

DHEERAJ DHAKE,

ECE,

FINAL YEAR

‘SECONDS’ RE-LIVED

Every action of ours has a consequence. And that consequence is based on what we did, how we did act, how we did think and what path did we choose for our journey. Destiny gives back everything it ever took from us and takes back everything it gave us. Amidst all this, there is one ultimate reality which cannot be altered however we might neglect it or whatever perception we possess on the world around us. Life of an individual undergoes evolution, by being churned in the vicious circle of all these facts. And my life was no different. The day I met with an accident, was the day that changed my perception towards the world forever and ever. As soon as my car did slide off the cliff, I lost my control on the brain, besides gravity. How much time was I left with? May be 15 seconds! And in those 15 seconds, I understood many things that my 15 year education did not teach me!

  I recollected the lives of 4 persons who were an integral part of my life. 4 different ‘persons’with 4 different mentalities and I am going to introduce them to you all…

5 Year old me:

As earliest as I can remember. We were residing in one of the best colonies and childhood was a fun filled one. Gully cricket, I Spy and many more games used to carry forward our days besides the daily routine of acting out a stomach ache drama so as to escape the tedious activity of attending school. Everything was a cake walk for me.

17 Year old me:

Everything around me started making sense to me. On the alternative days, my mother and father used to sleep on the floor to make enough space for me on the bed. In a locality where people stand for ten hours in front of a shop for the ration, my parents made me feel like we were in a heaven! Sacrifices made by them and struggles taken by them were like a thick carpet spread over on the path of thorns. That was the moment when I decided that struggles would be my back pack from now on and I would never let them down. My vision was clear, I decided that I shall not leave any loose strings in achieving my dream of clearing the civils and I sacrificed my social life entirely from then on.

24 year old me:

Became the first person from my locality to clear the civils and the environment was festive all over the colony. The first thing I wanted to do is to improve (provide!) the basic facilities of my society. But my posting was done in a far away city and that came as the first disappointment to me. I had to bribe a huge amount of 1000k to re-shift my posting to my area. Our family was in huge debts then and I had to take the big risk. I know nothing is more to me than the colony I was brought up in, but not more than my parents’ comfort. They have suffered enough. As soon as my fix up my family problems I would be starting with the development of the colony.

35 year old me:

I became a successful person, responsible son and caring father. Got everything I wanted in my life. Of course drifted off my path a little by taking the bribes and approving the projects. It all started because of my cornered situation where I had to pay off all the debts and I wanted to do that soon. Started taking some low profile harmless bribes. And it continued as my desire to see my parents in a more and more comfortable position increased, until we had a duplex in one of the costliest areas of the state. And then came the responsibilities of being a husband and a father. Needed to secure their lives first and that became my primary goal. This continued as life gave me different challenges in different ages. Then one day, I did read a news on my ex-colony which I swore to develop. A kid died due to infected water, taking the tally of deaths to 13 that month. 13 deaths! That means a huge distress to 13 families! What was I doing! I ruined everything just by not holding on to my responsibility. I hardly slept that night and that’s the last thing I remember.

The colony, it’s problems, lives of it’s residents and their pleas- everything remained the same. What changed was my perception towards the life as I grew up. But does that soothe my conscience and can the reality be altered because of the change in my perception! Of course not. That’s what philosophy of life is about. And such a disappointing life is going to end within few seconds. Wait! It’s been some hours and those 15 seconds are yet to be finished and if the above mentioned thing is the last thing I remember, how the hell did I end up in sliding off a cliff! Then the car hit the ground and I opened my eyes. It’s been a ride of realisation for me. I started walking to my working room to settle the things once and for all, however hard that may be! 
Vivek Reddy 

BELIEF

That night was dark and lonely. The grave silence of night was seldom disturbed by the howling of wolves. The blustering night of December had made everyone to remain in their homes. The night has made even the soldiers to remain in their camps. They were sleeping unaware about the danger that was crossing the border. Suddenly there was an explosion. Boom… everyone was shocked and baffled by this sudden attack. There was a situation of panic among the soldiers. At that time Captain Rajveer and Captain Shekhar had taken the charge to counterblast. Suddenly Rajveer was dumbstruck as he saw a grenade had just exploded beside Shekhar and made his body topple in the air. He ran towards him without wasting a moment elbowing the firings.

             Five years back in their college Rajveer and Shekhar were the best friends. Their friendship was famous all over the college. But there was one more peculiar thing that was famous about Rajveer. And it was his dilemma when he had been given the choices. Every time it was Shekhar who took him out from such situations. That’s why Rajveer was totally dependent on Shekhar for his own decisions. It was Shekhar’s decision to join army. Earlier Rajveer was a little skeptical about joining the army but as usual to escape the situation of making his own choice he rather accept the Shekhar’s decision. After two years of training in national defense academy both of them were posted in Drass sector Jammu, one of the most crucial and critical army bases. In the camp also even the officer’s were aware about Rajveer’s this peculiar habit.

               As Rajveer reached to Shekhar he had almost lost his nerve. But as he saw Rajveer he smiled and utters his last words in his best friend’s ear. Then suddenly another grenade exploded beside them separating the two friends forever.

           After two days when Rajveer woke up in the hospital he found his officer sitting beside him. His officer then asked him, “Rajveer I thought you might not be able to choose between yours life and your friend’s life. How did you make that tough decision so easily contradicting your own behavior”? Rajveer smiled and replied, “Belief sir, Shekhar had a belief on me that I would come to him breaking all my dilemmas and he told me the same thing that, “I know you would come, and now I can die with a satisfaction that my friend has overcome his weakness” and that drove me to him”

SOWMYA VERMA,

LITERARY MEMBER,

IBC

THREE HEARTS

Love is something which most of us have not experienced and even some of us deny its existence. But the fact is something different. We all experience this heavenly feeling when we see two people whom we consider next to God, our parents. Here is a small story which will help us, especially youngsters, to understand Love, which is Life.

Rakesh Gokhale, 26 years old, used to live in Mumbai along with his mother and grandmother. He lost his father when he was 11 years old. He was a teacher in a school and managed his middle class small maharashtrian family well. As he was an earning guy now, planning of his marriage was going on. Like everybody, he also had some expectations about his life partner and he was very excited about this.

One Sunday, while he was sitting in his room, his mother and grandmother came to him and told him some things. Listening to them he was shocked and moved out of the house angrily. Once Gokhale family used to reside in a small town near Mumbai and Mr. Shinde, their neighbour, was a very good friend of Rakesh’s father. He helped Rakesh’s family after his father’s death. The present situation was that, Mr. Shinde, a very simple and small town old man, gently asked Gokhale family to make Rakesh his son-in-law by accepting his daughter Gauri as their daughter-in- law.

When Rakesh’s mother told him about all this he was angry because he thought just because Mr. Shinde has helped them a lot he can’t marry his daughter, whom he hasn’t seen since 15 years. He went out and sat in a peaceful place for a while. His mind was full of his mother’s words about his father’s death, Mr. Shinde’s gratitude, Gauri and all. Then he thought if Mr. Shinde is a very good man, Gauri must be a nice girl and keeping in mind that Mr. Shinde has asked something from them for the first time, he decided to marry Gauri. He went back to his home and told his decision to his mother and she started crying, Rakesh thought she was crying out of happiness but her tears wanted to say something which Rakesh wouldn’t understand now.

Gokhale family planned to meet Mr. Shinde and family on Tuesday and everybody was excited that two very close families are going to be a single family now. Monday night Rakesh was informed that there is a very important work in school so he won’t be able to go and hence only his mother and grandmother went there. When they came back Rakesh asked his mother, “how is she?”, in an exciting way. His mother replied she is beautiful and she started crying. Rakesh was happy listening to this and he again thought that she was crying out of happiness and was unable to understand the voice of her tears.

The date of marriage was fixed and everyone was happy. There were small and nice arrangements by both families according to their financial conditions. And at last the day of marriage came and Gokhale family reached the town with some relatives and friends. Rakesh was very excited to see beautiful Gauri and as soon as he entered the marriage hall he saw the bride in a red saree and he was shocked after seeing her as Gauri was a very fat girl having weight about double of Rakesh. Rakesh was very upset after this and was silent during the whole marriage. When Gokhale family came back to Mumbai along with Gauri, Rakesh went to his mother and said you people played with my life by making me marry with this fat girl and he left the room. His mother was crying and her tears were saying same things as they were saying last two times to her that she has ruined two lives.

Rakesh went to his room, where Gauri was sitting and told her that he is feeling cheated by everyone and he doesn’t like her and this marriage at all and left. Now in the room there was a girl, Gauri, sitting silently and describing more about her, she was beautiful with big deep eyes having tears in them, a lost lovely smile and a very pure heart.

The house was silent at that moment, there were three hearts one filled with hatred, one with a guilt of destroying two lives but the third heart had something different in it, and it had Love for Rakesh. Being an Indian daughter having all good qualities and learning, Gauri had respect and love for Rakesh and this love gave her the power to bring the other hearts at their normal.

Next morning when Rakesh woke up early and was departing for school he saw Gauri worshiping God. As he started moving outside a very sweet voice entered in his ears, it was Gauri’s voice. She had prepared lunch for Rakesh and asked him to take the same along with him. Rakesh’s mother entered and told Gauri that Rakesh always had his lunch outside you don’t need to wake up so early for preparing lunch. She replied that she has a habit of waking early and preparing food for his father. Rakesh wasn’t interested in the conversation so he started leaving and took the lunch box along with him as insulting the food wasn’t in his ethics. This brought that lovely smile on Gauri’s face back. Although Rakesh missed this but his mother saw this smile and blessed her and the guilt in her heart started decreasing.

When Rakesh opened his lunchbox, suddenly he remembered Gauri’s sentence she said in the morning with her lovely voice but he himself ignored this feeling but one thing was sure that her voice was somewhere able to find the way to Rakesh’s heart. Then he had the food along with other people and everybody complimented him that he has got a very good wife.

Days were passing by and Rakesh was still ignoring Gauri and had hatred for her. But Gauri’s power of love of was still there and kept believing that one day that hatred will be replaced by love. One day when Rakesh opened his lunchbox he saw his favorite Gajar ka halwa in it and it was delicious and for the first time Rakesh had a smile on his face. When he returned back home for the first time he had a conversation with Gauri and he told her that lunch was good and she said with her eyes down and blushing that it is her birthday today. Both were silent for few seconds, Rakesh wanted to wish her but he remained silent. Gauri understood his silence and realized that her power of love is doing something. Rakesh’s mother was watching all this and she smiled. The guilt was almost gone.

Next day, Rakesh received a letter from Mr. Shinde. He cried after reading his letter. Is was something like this,

"Dear Rakesh,

Bless you son, you are a very good human being. You accepted my daughter at the time when nobody was going to marry her. I got a letter from her. She said she is very happy with you all. Your mother is a very understanding lady, she said. And she told me about you that you are very caring towards her. She also told me about the green saree you gave her on her birthday. 

I feel very lucky to have you as my son-in-law. 

Thanks a lot, Rakesh.
Sushil Shinde"

After reading this Rakesh’s hatred was gone and now he was feeling guilty for his behaviour towards Gauri. And he realised why his mother had said that Gauri is beautiful. Beauty comes from person’s heart, he understood this fact and decided to say sorry to her.

Next day when Gauri woke up she saw something in front of her. A green saree and a piece of paper written sorry on it was kept near her. She smiled and a tear was coming out of her eye. Rakesh entered the room and said, “I know I am the reason behind your tears” suddenly Gauri stopped him and said, “Rakesh when your mother came to our house when you were involved in some school work she told me about you that how you have earned a respectable position in society, I fell in love with you and this love gave me the power to remove the hatred from your heart.” Rakesh said “I had learnt something that Love is very happening and powerful at the same time. Thanks for being my life partner and one more thing, you are very beautiful.”

VOIDS IN TIME

 Today. Yet another day, at the end of which my brain is reluctant to think. It’s more tiring to have a tired mind, than a tired body.

 This place. I have been here before, endless number of times. But its not mine. I stand at the edge. Do I belong here?

 People. They keep running and running, trying to reach goals set by others, trying to conquer more than others, trying to prove something very irrelevant. It’s a race, where you don’t lose, but people make you feel you did, not by telling you so, but by reminding you of their triumph. But a part of me knows something is missing. My surroundings are empty, thoughtless and hence, powerless. 

I should get down from the bus and walk the rest of the distance. No, I am too exhausted for it. But I should. So I hear myself yelling “I had to get down.” The driver unwillingly stops, my co-passengers glare at me and the conductor giggles at my back. Is this one of the decisions I was going to regret? It’s a pitiable thing to think so much about such a small happening, but my brain keeps on going back to all the faces, my limbs make me regret what I just did. But I needed it more than it was wanted. I start walking, without any realization, I leave the park behind, and my mind wanders off to the summers when I thought tooth fairy was real. All the memories I have are those from the frame of ‘outside the gate’. Did I never go inside to play? Or were they just too impolite to remember? At that time, it was just laziness, but now, I realize maybe it was more than my body’s reluctance to join the other kids. Maybe it was my mind’s.

 Repeated trips to the hospital makes any being more fragile than he was before. Though, I am no one to blame these health factories, I can relate to their psychological setbacks. “But I am more than that. I don’t state the hospitals as the reason of my lack of motivation. Only the guilt of my mistakes can make me prosper. Like those kids there-” as I wandered out and back into my subconscious, I merely saw a bunch of teenagers terrorizing a little pup. Will some of them regret this act? God, I hope they do. Though, I know how they feel; how they are frustrated, confused, like everyone is, more or less, at the time of learning something new.

 Then these are youngsters, trying to learn the most complex mathematics of all: life. Though I am no one to know them, but still, it is not just right to show their dominance over an innocent creature to prove to the world that you are unafraid. Rather, it’s just the work of a coward. But they’ll learn for themselves. Some will wait for big happenings; others will be inhibited by smaller ones. Some days they’ll discover themselves; others, they’ll invent. Some will invite troubles to themselves; others might run away; sooner than later, they’ll know; hard way or otherwise that little things matter.

 Hypothesis of a biologist would suggest I am completely aware of my limbs, moving forward, like trying to win, against each other, a motion in vain. But all I feel right now is my blood thumping through my ears. Was I running out of breath?

 I see a smile of an old man sitting in Mr. Oliver’s window side seat, and it makes me wonder do I have to wait till the last chapter? No. Every happy chapter begins with a smile, and the sad ones end with a smile!

I see a vagabond, and I see a woman sitting on her bedroom window. For one, her house is a prison, for the other, the world outside the house. For any prisoner, their prison is the safest place they know. Scared to be outside, crouching at the thought of being left free; but the spark of not being where you are, overpowers the importance of now and here.

 Sometimes, life is plain, mundane, redundant, but that time, is the most useful time. It’s the intermission of a movie, where you have seen the movie, and, yet, are eager for more. It’s the comma in the sentence, where you still have sentence left for reading, yet, understand the first half. It’s the time to learn, the time to format, to dispose off useless stuff, to be excited for more.

 Like the walk I had; the void which I filled with memories and judgments. Now, I am not regretting my decision of getting off the bus. Aching more than before, I reached the stairs to my apartment.

 Today. I travelled more than I walked; but am still shrugging at the expressions of the fellow bus passengers. 

                                         -Sanjana Wadhwa,

                                     Computer Science,

                                   2^nd year

THE VOW

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that.  Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.”
                                                          ― Martin Luther King Jr.

“If you judge people, you have no time to love them.”
                                                        ― Mother Teresa.

"Watching you walk out of my life does not make me bitter or cynical about love. But rather makes me realize that if I wanted so much to be with the wrong person how beautiful it will be when the right one comes along."

                                        -Anon

BASILICA CHURCH, GOA:

DATE: 01.09.12

Finally I saw the smile on my Mom’s face. She is the best mother anyone could ever have. Her sleepless nights in transforming me from a half corpse to a human have finally succeeded. Adding to this, I finally agreed to marry the girl she chose and her happiness had no boundaries.
 

I was reciting “the vows”, in a robotic style. Not that I’m not regretting for the approval of this marriage, but it’s just that I don’t get any feel on seeing this girl, even when she’s in the most beautiful dress any girl can ever be in her entire life- The Bridal dress. I was just ‘observing’ her happiness in her eyes and smile on her lips. Just observing, not feeling them! Then I started reciting, in “Tim Burton” style-

“With this hand I will lift your sorrows. Your cup will never be empty, for I will be your wine. With this candle, I will light your way into darkness. With this ring, I ask you to be mine.”  

MY HOME, GOA:

DATE: 01.08.12

The break up I had 3 months ago, still had a deep impact on me! In fact, those wounds never heal! Gradually, I became addicted to drugs. At least, it was the only thing that deprived me off my pain. As I began thinking more and more about the past, dosage of drugs had to be increased to kill the pain. By the time I realised that it’s just a waste of my future, I already became a drug addict! There were days, when I just lived on drugs for weeks. My face became swollen and my body- a half dead corpse! Of course, I lost the pain due to break up, but in the process, I lost myself! My behaviour with the friends too changed completely and I had no one to call a “friend” now! My mother started worrying a lot and finally, one day, she threw away all the drugs and locked me away in a room! In the process, I bit her, slapped her and even hit her with my legs. But never did she lost the faith in me and she brought me back into this world!    

BACK TO THE CHURCH:

“You may now kiss the bride”

And as we were about to kiss, I saw someone who grabbed my attention. I felt my heart beating so fast and my eyes searching so hard for that person! Or at least, I hoped that she would be there! And, yes. There she was, in a wheel chair! There was the person who has my heart, of course broken. There was she, in a state of paralysis, on a wheel chair; with tears rolling down her cheeks. She was my Maya!

UPPER LAKE, BHOPAL:

DATE: 01.01.12

Finally, I’ve decided to propose her! We both knew it was coming and I wanted to make it special. We went on a paddle boat and were slowly drifting towards centre of the lake. Suddenly, it started raining. Smell of the rain was fighting hard to dominate the fragrance of Maya, in vain! As she’s playing with the water below, my mind was playing with the eternal smile of her and thoughts with the immortal beauty! As rain has just started, a drop fell on her face and she was as lively as a beautiful flower having dew drops at its end. At the same time, my heart was feeling the fear that her face might be in pain due to the roughness of those raindrops!

The breeze was sweeping her hair off her face, as her mole, on the lips was sweeping me off my feet. The water below was eagerly jumping to kiss her face as I’m envying them. As she was pulling my hand to show the fishes, I felt like I was falling into the well of infinity! I couldn’t hold it anymore and said “Maya, we both know that this was coming. I promise you that I will be holding your hand from this moment, forever and ever. No matter whatever may be circumstances that try to separate us, I will never let go of you. All that I need is a yes.” Even though, she was expecting this, she was completely surprised and amidst that heavy rain, I could feel a tear rolling down her eye and slowly halting at her lips. That is a yes! I know it right away and then I leaned forward to kiss those lips and we were in that state of bliss for hours together!

As many love stories often end up, mine too was a victim of Distance relationships. After the college, she went back to her native place, Hyderabad and me- Goa. She kept on complaining that there’s no one to console her personally at the time of need and no one to love her accordingly! She asked me to shift to Hyderabad. But I couldn’t leave my mother alone, at this age! One day, she just messaged me, saying “It’s all over, don’t try to contact me.” And after that everything was common- Change of SIM, blocking in fb and all other things! I came to know from my friends that her fb status the very next day, was “Got rid of the pain and found my new love, at last!”

BACK AGAIN:

All these memories just flashed in my mind and the line “I will not leave your hand at any circumstances” kept on flashing in my mind! Now she’s back! For me! And she’s in such a pathetic condition. I felt like hugging her then and there, leaving everything! But don’t know why, I chose the second oath! I chose to be the soul mate of Ananya, the girl my mother has selected. After “The Vow” which I took, agreeing to it wholeheartedly, Ananya started looking completely different! I felt that she completed me! And then, I kissed her, the bride, the soul mate and the complement!

TWO YEARS LATER:

After two years of treatment, Maya has completely recovered from her paralysis caused in an accident. Ananya suggested adopting Maya to fill the void created by the death of her parents in the same accident and we did the same! I never broke both the vows. Never did I leave Maya alone in any problem, nor did I share my heart with anyone else except Ananya!

                       - Vivek Reddy

AN ENCOUNTER

In the bleak winter evening on 11^th November 1903, I was in deep thoughts on sordid details of my past mounting on the stem of the cruise “THE PRESTIGE” feeling the cool breeze gliding over me. I was 2 days away from my destination then where I have no plans about my career, which made me formidable about my existence in near future. These thoughts and bleakness have thrown me into melancholy. After having a dinner I was back on deck and was just having a walk and was having a small chat with ship crew and came to know that cruise will come to a halt at an island for this night due to some technical lag in cruise. I was curious because of my disposition is to be adventurous from childhood. After 4 hours of anxiety the cruise is ashore. The captain of cruise gave strict orders for passengers not to wander in the woods but they can just have a walk on shore. I was off the cruise and went for a walk it seemed dark just the lights of cruise. But I could feel some unknown charm dragging me into the abyss. I could not resist since I have no reason to stop it.

In exuberance of my joy I went on exploring the woods in the luminance of cruise and moon but the light faded as I moved further from cruise and from my life. I thought to return to the ship but my queer nature made me reluctant to go back to the same life where I have no iota of hope of joy but even on this style I have to struggle for subsistence more than in society. My ideas became erratic as the darkness deepened and I dozed for a while. A dawn broke over the woods and the sunlight sprinkled over me and I gained consciousness and ran towards the prestige but I missed the cruise I can just see it disappearing in to the seas. At that time I just accepted my destiny and believed in nature. I went back in to the woods and ecstatic by the artistry of nature. I felt blissful for the first time in my life as I surrendered myself to the nature. I was basking in the dawn under the woods and after a while I was feeling voracious appetite and began my search for food.

As I wandered around the woods I found some animals grazing in a pasture that made me think of habitat living around here and an idea of cannibalism came in my mind, which transformed my ecstasy into despair. I ran away from that place in fear and my ignorance of the way has led me right at their den. I cursed me for my ignorance and the tribes encircled me and I could see a glow and daze on their face. But I was astonished when they welcomed me with a smile and took them to their huts and I felt pride when everyone was treating me with great reverence. After 3 hours when I saw some casserole resembling dishes over their place and I felt hungry again. They recognized my appetite and took me to their dining arena. I was awe-struck with their arrangements and the way they presented on the table made me feel living in a paradise. They served me appetizers, which are seasoned very precisely, and soup, which tasted like elixir. Then they served me barbecue and multi cuisine dishes were at the place. The viand of the meal is venison, which is embellished and assimilated with various spices, which made me feel like manna. They gave me pabulum having medicinal values that tasted like ambrosia and had end my meal with confectionary. This sumptuous meal is one I haven’t dreamt off in my life.

After a short nap in the cottage I went out for a walk and was dazzled by flamboyant architectural landscape of water falling from cliff to azure lakes. I was effervescent with bliss and life by admiring that cliff and waterfalls. I had spent whole night by resting in the lap of nature. I was awake by noises near the dining arena. I went out to find out and from their conversations I found that their culture is to sacrifice any guest to divine spirits by treating him as a messenger of god. I wanted to persuade them that sacrificing a fellow human for god is foolishness but reminisced that human tendency is to believe in magic than logic which happened throughout the history of mankind, where nobles like Socrates, Jesus, Gandhi, Lincoln were killed by the people whom they served the whole life.

So I started to run for my life again which I had been doing since my birth. Deep gloom covered my bliss as cold breeze and drizzle showered at dusk. I ran to the cliff and I was totally exhausted and desolated. I felt like sharing my feelings with anyone but I found none. So today 14^th November 1903 I pen down my feelings to share with myself. Drizzles keep rising, and the cloud churns into a thunderstorm. Today is the most blissful day in my life because it is the only day in my life I am harmonized with nature that I always loved. I stood up and looked on either side of cliff on one-side tribes trying to hunt me down and on other the blue sea striving to embrace me with its mighty waves. I will always choose nature……………………

 Ch. Raghu vinay,

 Ece, iii year.

LAST MEETING

The streets were pitch dark. The sprawling ocean of darkness seemed so much like my present life.The foam on the waves seemed to dance under the night to the tunes of cricket and other insects.The sea was hitting the shores so hard that for a moment it shook up my heart and made me very part of the scene.From the left walked in Mr.Joseph Mathew, my husband whom I've neglected for past five years. I recognised him from the long distance by manner of his gait. He came up to me and stood still.I didnt have courage to look at him so i kept observing the ocean andthe waves as if I haven't noticed him. I gathered myself and turned my face towards him.He was as charming as he was.

He smiled and waited for a smile to appear on my face.I had tears almost touching rim of my eyes, still I managed a smile. He took few steps towards me and sat by my side.

We both were in complete silence when Joseph breaked the ice "Why Sara,why do you want divorce..??"For a moment it seemed a simple Question butI had no answer to it.I kept quite.He holded my hand and with a heavy voice he spoke "I promise to chip off the barrier of time between us."

I knew he didn't wanted to let me go but I had my reasons and that to strong enough to get the Divorce.I handed over the divorce papers to Josephand could only say "sign these papers Joseph." With these words his hope of taking me back almost vanished,and he took the pers with the shaky hands.

For the first time ,I looked into those eyes where I could see numerous Questions and intense fear of loosing me.I was broken down.

I kissed his forehead and said "Joseph I know I could never repay the care,affection and love you gave me,but I want to let you know one thing "I loveyou and will do so forever.

He holded me in his arms like an true angel of love,"then why do you want me to sign these papers Sara.In his arms,I felt so secured.For a moment all myfear,all my pain vanished and could only force these words out of my mouth "hold me for few moments Joseph." He holded me more tightly and responded "I want to hold you this way forever,just don't go." Hearing these words,smile appeared on my face.I knew this forever could not last for few days even.Something striked Joseph and he recited few lines.I think it was the pain he was going through,made him the poet for few seconds..

"I'm willing to loose each bit of mine,

If you promise to be my side..

I don't want ant tresure or pleasure,

If you promise to be with me..

Because my World is you and only you,

Don't leave me ever

Else,i'll be all gone

Without you I'm none,I'm all alone"

These lines were straight from his heart.Tears followed each other.I forced myself out of his embrace.I was crying hard,when he kissed my cheeks and madethem dry.I forced these words out of my mouth which i never wanted to "Sign these papers JOseph and this is our Last Meeting,after this I'll be free fromyour side and you..."Before I could finish off,he pressed my mouth with his hands "No Sara,I won't be free because I don't want to be.I know I'll be completely lost in yourmemories".He took the divorce papers.He looked at my face,which was eagerly waiting for his sign.He signed them.Just as an Eagle waits for his prey and attack at the right time,same ways i almost snatched the signed papers.he was having all his eyes on me.I knew he was waiting for my smile andI didn't make him wait for it too long.I smiled.Joseph smiled back and said "these papers mean nothing to me.You are my wife Mrs.Sara Mathew and would alwaysbe.Signing these papers would not change your position in my life.I love you and will wait for you forever..."

This forever word meant nothing to me.I knew it was the LAST STAGE.Yes the bitter truth was i was in the last stage of AIDS.

Joseph and me married 5 years back.Everything was simply perfectwhen I was almost Crashed by the bus.I was immediately taken to a small countyside hospital.At that time Joseph was out of the town.He was a Managerof a Multinational Company and the busy schedules were part of our life.Due to heavy blood loss I was injectedthe blood.It was an nfectious one.Soon after I recovered i went for all the tests and my HIV test was a positive one.I took the reports and left the house.Joseph knew nothing about the reports.He didn't have the slightest idea regarding this.And today it has been two years we are separated withoutdivorce.Since then I've been working as a waitress in a countyside hotel.Joseph made enumerous efforts to take me back or help me financially.Each time i turned my back to his offer.And today when I called him up to sign the divorce papers,he wished to meet me for one last time.

They say nothing comes for free.I agreed thinking may be I could give him some happiness and could repay the little share of his uncomparable care and lovehe has given all my life.

And this was our LAST MEETING.

Suddenly I couldn't breathe properly.Here I was the last leap towards death.I got up to go and holded the most valuable thing for the time being.."The Divorce Papers"

Before going I handed a Envelope to Joseph."This is answer to all you questions but promise me you'll open it when I'll be gone." He nodded.I started walking.Each step I took away from Joseph,seemed as if it was an step closer to death.I wanted to turn back just to have last Glimpse of Joseph.I turned back.Joseph washolding envelope in one hand and reports in other.They were my MEDICAL REPORTS.He went through the reports and looked up at me....

Words couldn't find their way out..

Tears couldn't come out of his eyes..

He stood speechless but his eyes were speaking "why Sara why..??" Distance between Joseph and me was just few steps.But neither he could walk up to me nor Icould go back to him.He cried like a child,yelled out loud and almost fell down.I ran back to hold him.I could see my death in his eyes.This was the reasonI hided it from him.I knew he couldn't effort to loose me.I holded him "No Josephi want your memories to take me beyond Grave,don't make them weak".

He shook his head and said "You loved me so much Sara and never expressed it and i thought you to be a heartless woman."ÿou are true angel of love."

He took the divorse paper and torn them away and said "I just wanted to see you happy.I gave you everything even divorse to make you happy but now mylove woudn't permit me to do so.."

Then he searched for something in his pocket and came out with my engagement ring which I had given him back years ago.He bend down and said "marry me Mrs Joseph Mathew.." This time I couldn't say no.I accepted his proposal and tears of happines started rolling down.

I couldn't breath anymore.Here I was..got the final call from God.Our love ws the only impediment for my soul to flew away.I fell down in Joseph's arms.

God had made that meeting a LAST MEETING in true senses.I was happy that atleast i'll die with him around me.

I recited few lines..

Don't mourn,when i'm gone..

I'll be always around you,within you..

I can't afford to see tears in your eyes..

- MALVIKA, M.tech, 1st year

A DROPLET LOST IN OCEAN

A divorce is like an amputation: you survive it, but there's less of you.

                                                                               ~ Margaret Atwood.

Children must be considered in a divorce considered valuable pawns in the nasty legal and financial contest that is about to ensue.
                                                                                 ~P.J.O’Rourke.

   The pearls of water ran down the lonely corner of my bedroom window...it seemed as if the heaven was a witness and was feeling every ounce of my pain and anxiety...The sky is crying with me, sitting at the corner of the room with dead toys and estranged fantasies when suddenly the door cracked open with a loud shriek and a sturdy black figure stepped inside... it was the end of the life I've known by now... everything was about to change after i leave this room…the room where I've spent 16 years of my life, my house that no longer was mine, every material that had no meaning by now was getting alive and were equally remorseful and were begging me not to leave.

The man demanded me to pack my bags. He was an official sent by High Court to take me to my mother who was living in Shimla now, so far away from here. She decided to live in Shimla, that was more of similar to Nainital so that I would feel comfortable and easy to settle down. But this place- the same one where every morning i woke up listening the musical alarm of monal, the exquisite food lavishly prepared by Kalpana aunty, the dining table where me, ma and papa had food together spiced with love and affection...my school, my friends... I was leaving everything behind of me ...the flowers in my garden were blooming less today. The clear blue sky, the view of Naini lake from my terrace, the flowers in steps of my garden, the houses of my neighbours ,their smiles; the flamboyance around my home, my life was missing...merely the thought of leaving this place shivered my nerves and me to the bowels of my heart...More of not the place but leaving my father behind made me paranoid...i was so heavy at heart...today I realised that how it feels to be parched ,estranged from your life...

My life had been this way for past few months now...the day i was in melee of my dream world lying in my cosy bed lingering on my soft pillow underneath my heavy blanket in a cold December night while it was snowy outside...i was dreaming of ma's special rajma chawal and kheer...her extravagance made the food all the more special ... i woke up with the disturbing sounds reaching my ears from outside of my bedroom...a horizon of light was peeping inside of my room from the bottom opening as if calling me to watch out, it was the sound of my mom and dad....the light of living room was opened and a heavy discussion was going on and I could barely understand what they were talking about but the voices grew louder and louder and never ended... I slowly stepped down my bed and tiptoed myself to the door, as I reached there the voice grew louder and louder. I silently turned down handle of the door making minimum sound possible and peeped my eyes out of the small opening ...and what i saw shifted the earth beneath me earthquaking my life forever...the two figures ,my role models, the impeccable part of my life, were shouting, screaming and fighting with each other disrespectfully ...

'You have ruined my life and drained every happiness i had'...

'Neither you have been a good wife....

'you don’t respect me and my needs all you care about is yourself'...

i couldn’t listen anymore, a tide of tears ran down from the corner of my eyes to the corner of my mouth and jumped to the wooden floor...what i thought was a heated argument was not really one, it was a fight...the voices were loud but i cannot listen to it anymore...I had to shut the panels of my ears tightly through my hands...but i could see still see the hatred in their eyes for each other...

i wanted to step outside the room and stop them, hug them both, stop what all was happening there and bring an end to this horrible nightmare, but i was numb, so numb to move or react. Then I heard a loud thunder that broke the commotion of my thoughts and brought me back to my room... I saw my mom on the floor descending to herself, one hand on her right cheek, tears rolling down her eyes, in no moment I knew what has happened. I shrieked loud ,busted the room door open and ran down to her...I held her shivering body, she turned her face away from me. The room shut silent, my demanding eyes were questioning them pleading for answers. But they buried their eyes on the floor, none of them looked at me. I wanted to scream and ask them what all it was? What happened? Why did it happen? Why my beautiful, happy world was diminished? Silence echoed the room, finally i gathered all my strength and said 'Ma, are you...'

but before i could complete my sentence, she stood up and dried her reckless tears...with a wrecked heart she took her overcoat from robe stand ,while covering her cold body with it she walked towards the front door...and without spilling a single word from her dried throat she opened the door and started walking.

I shouted 'Where are you going , ma ?'  'come back in' 'its cold out there' 'come in' 'don’t go'

I started running behind her, when my papa caught my hand and pushed me back. He coldly said 'let her go, if she wants to'

I was struggling to break free. I was shouting and calling her, but she kept walking. I wanted to reach her and hold her hand, make her come back inside. I could feel the cool breeze gushing inside the open door making my warm body shiver. She was outside feeling the same, the warmth inside and the cold outside made me a part of two world. It was no longer our world. I couldn’t see her anymore, I prayed my father to get her back, to call her back. But he asked me to go to my room. I froze, couldn’t believe what my ears heard just then. He freed me and shut the door close...he left for his room and ordered me to go to bed. I couldn’t move, I sat on the floor… Cold...Alone.

My parents don’t live together anymore. Today i have to leave to go to my mother with this official. But as i leave today, I leave myself as a whole... Alone and empty.

 This is a story of many children when their parents are separated... What can we do for them??

                                                         ~ Vaishali Joshi